The Life Cycle of a Relationship in the Eyes of Your Money

(This is a guest post from from Punch Debt In The Face, a personal finance blog dedicated to keeping personal finance less boring. Follow Debt Ninja on Twitter.)

Seeing that Valentines Day is just around the corner, I thought it would only be appropriate to blog about two things. Love and money. The best way I can think to do that, is by taking a closer look at the three typical phases of a “normal” relationship.

Phase 1: Enmeshment

This is known as the enmeshment phase. You know what I’m talking about. It’s when you spend every waking hour with your significant other.

The relationship is so new and exciting that all you can think about is your boyfriend/girlfriend. You become obsessed with your partner, stop hanging out with your friends, and lose all contact with your family. Your S.O. (significant other) becomes your life.

This phase, my friends, is a dangerous one. It is definitely the most expensive of the three phases. You take her out to fancy dinners frequently, you buy him/her nice gifts for no reason, you basically empty your pockets to impress/woo/manipulate your partner in to loving you as much as you love them.

Phase 2: Separation

Ah, phase 2 is the tricky one. This is often referred to as the separation phase. It’s called this for two reasons.

First, because this is when one of the two individuals decides, instead of hanging out with their S.O., they would rather spend a night out with their friends. They begin to miss the life they had before their relationship and they start to feel burdened by the constant need for attention from their partner. Basically, it’s when at least one person wants to separate their relationship from their personal life.

The second reason this is called the separation phase… it’s when most couples break up. Usually one person wants to slow things down a little bit (i.e not hang out all the time), but the other person is still obsessed.

Fights start, flaws are noticed, and the “perfect” relationship becomes, well, not so perfect. Phase 2 can be expensive, especially if it involves a break up. You might want to move out (if you live together) which means your rent/utilities/food bill generally goes up. You also might find yourself going out with friends more frequently, after all, you need to make up for lost time since you practically ignored them during phase 1! Phase 2 is a tricky one and if you don’t play your cards just right, you could end up broke.

Phase 3: Wealth Building

You have survived some pretty serious fights and at the end of the day you realize your life is better with that person than without. Things get easier. You’re not creepishly obsessed with each other anymore. You have learned the proper balance between the two of you as a couple and the two of you as individuals.

Wedding bells are in your future. This my friends, is a great place to be financially. You can enjoy the life of dual income without the expense of kids. You can live cheaply in a small one bedroom apartment and enjoy dinner and a movie at home. You no longer feel the need to “impress” your partner. If you manage your money responsibly, phase 3, is where true wealth building can occur.

So there ya have it. The three phases of love and how they can work with or against your pocketbook. Was this post about finances? Meh, not really, but every once in a while it’s nice to break away from the typical finance mumbo jumbo. I know Girl Ninja and I went through each of these phases during the first couple years of our relationship.

Did you experience anything similar during your last (or current) relationship? I would love to hear about the relationship you had with your significant other.