I’m a Vegan and You’ll Still Never Catch Me Buying White Castle Burgers

Vegans, don't get too excited about this new product offering.

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” Though this phrase is typically associated with self-debate — whether or not to indulge in a chocolate truffle or an extra glass of Chardonnay, for instance — most people wouldn’t think of it applying to a plant-based vegan burger. That’s because eating one isn’t usually considered a guilty pleasure. But, this really depends on who you ask.

Veggie lovers are undoubtedly thrilled about the newest addition to the White Castle fast-food chain menu, the Impossible Slider. For just $1.99, you can get a grilled, two-inch, square, plant-based patty smothered in sweet onions, pickles and cheese (optional), and sandwiched between the fast-food chain’s iconic white bun. Surprisingly, though it’s packed with a powerful 14 grams of protein and only five carbohydrates, it also boasts a whopping 10 grams of saturated fat, making it the second fattiest slider on the menu.

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It’s Always Impossible — Until It Isn’t

Yes, the Impossible Burger is tasty and, if you ask me, more flavorful than its rival, the Beyond Burger. And, perhaps more importantly, the burger is good for animal welfare and our planet. For those who have a tough time recycling or composting, ingesting a burger from Impossible Foods actually lowers their carbon footprint to the tune of approximately 1/20 the land use, 1/4 the water usage and 1/8 the greenhouse gas emissions when compared to a beef patty.

But, while it might sound like heaven on a bun, there is a dark side to this slider that’s being marketed as a (somewhat) healthy option.

White Castle Slider Disruptors

Gluten

Gluten is the protein found in wheat, rye and barley. Because wheat grain today is hybridized, our bodies haven’t quite caught up with the scientific advances of new proteins and deamidation, which allows wheat to be water-soluble and found in a plethora of packaged foods. This is why Dr. Amy Myers, functional MD, believes wheat (and dairy) are the root of so many autoimmune diseases, inflammation and food intolerances today.

With so many gluten-free bread options, why not include this on the Impossible Slider? Heck, even a romaine or butter lettuce cup would be a healthier option for, not just those with celiac disease or gluten intolerances, but for the keto-crazed bunch, since this bun adds an extra 13 carbs to the patty.

More on Veganism: How I Eat Vegan on a Budget

Dairy

Impossible Foods touts their burger as dairy-free, but then the people at White Castle decided to slap on a piece of animal-derived, yellow cheese. It kind of defeats the plant-based purpose, no? The fast-food chain’s website says they’re searching for the perfect vegan cheese that might be introduced next year. Huh? Just ask a vegan. They already exist from brands like Daiya Foods, Follow Your Heart and the Honest Stand. Why wait? Why not keep this burger as a truly vegan option?

Soy

If you hadn’t met my arch-nemesis before, congrats, you’ve now been introduced. This wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing, plant-based phytoestrogen has wreaked havoc on my health, as well as millions of others. Disguised as a healthy food, soy is an inexpensive filler that, due to the isoflavones which are similar in structure to estrogen, that we really don’t need to be ingesting. And, let’s not even discuss man-boobs. Though some still feel soy is safe, after my extensive health issues attributed to this ingredient, I’ll never trust it.

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Since I reside in California, the closest White Castle location is in Las Vegas, Nevada. If I ever happened to find myself there, I’d certainly leave hungry. Even their Veggie Sliders pack a soybean- and wheat-punch. And forget about a salad — they don’t exist. But donuts, soda, fries, sausage and bologna sure do. No, despite the new product offering, I don’t think the Impossible Slider creators had plant-based, health-conscious foodies in mind. It’s just another one of many bad-for-you foods on the menu.

So, much like Sin City, what’s eaten at White Castle should probably stay at White Castle.

Read More: 20 Ways to Improve Your Health at No Cost

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