Watch Out for These Surprisingly Common Dating Scams This Valentine’s Day
Take off your rose-colored glasses to see through these cons.
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Valentine’s Day is approaching, which means more chocolate, flowers and romance scams. Although Valentine’s Day is the time for couples to celebrate their relationship, it also can be the perfect time for con artists to take advantage of those longing for love. And with the rise of online dating sites and social media, falling for a faux Prince Charming and becoming a victim of fraud is a lot easier than you might think.
In 2016, there were nearly 15,000 complaints about romance scams reported to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center. In 2017, romance fraud was responsible for the second greatest financial loss with over $200 million.
Check out these common romance scams so that you don’t get fooled this Valentine’s Day.
Facebook Real-Life Scam
In 2017, a woman named Sheila accepted a friend request from a man named Greg posing as a construction worker, USA Today reported. Although she didn’t know him, she befriended him anyway and the two soon developed a relationship online. Despite never meeting in person, they regularly exchanged emails and called each other on the phone. Then one day, Greg asked Sheila to pay his taxes. It was an odd request but given their relationship and his willingness to provide his bank information, Sheila obliged. However, that one-time payment wasn’t enough for Greg. He asked for money a second time, and it was then Sheila knew she was a victim of a scam. In total, Sheila lost $24,250, according to USA Today.
Related: You Won’t Believe What Hackers Can Do With Your SSN
How It Works
First, you might get hit with a random friend request or a direct message from someone you don’t know. This person might claim to have a mutual friend or make themselves appear successful on their profile in order to gain your trust. After you have established a connection with them, they start communicating with you frequently. And, as with all romance scams, they will quickly encourage your communication to switch from Facebook to email and phone.
Who’s at Risk?
A romance scam can happen to anyone but older women are at a higher risk of being scammed, especially those looking for intimacy and love online.
In an effort to warn its users about the scams online, Facebook has published information on how to look out for scams on its platform. “Romance scammers typically send romantic messages to people they don’t know, often pretending to be divorced, widowed or in a bad marriage,” Facebook said in a statement. “They’ll engage in online relationships in hopes of receiving money for flights or visas. Their goal is to gain your trust, so the conversations may continue for weeks before they ask for money.”
How to Protect Yourself
In that same article, Facebook highlights several red flags to look out for, including:
- People asking you for money who you don’t know in person
- People asking you to leave Facebook and communicate through email
- People posing as a friend of a relative in an emergency
Nigerian Prince Real-Life Scam
In 2005, Kansas resident Fredrick Haines received an email regarding an inheritance from a Nigerian government official. For the next three years, Haines tried wholeheartedly to secure what he thought was his $65 million inheritance. In the process, however, he re-mortgaged his home three times and scammers cheated him out of $110,000.
Using sites like Facebook and dating websites, scammers look for those who are vulnerable and financially well-off. From Haines to a divorcee looking for love, no one is off limits here.
How It Works
The Nigerian Prince scam, otherwise known as a “419 scam,” comes in several forms, some romantic and some not. According to the Better Business Bureau, victims often receive an email claiming they are the beneficiary of a will — usually from a supposed Nigerian political official — and that they stand to inherit millions. In order to claim said millions, you must send over your personal financial information.
Other times, it happens through fake cashier checks. For example, say you advertise an item for sale online. An interested buyer from Africa or another country sends over a counterfeit check that’s way above the sale price. He then will ask you to deposit the bogus check while you wire him the difference leading you to wire him funds before the counterfeit check bounces.
In another example, you might have met someone on a dating site and built trust in them over months of talking. Once a bond — and sometimes even romance — is established, the scammer will ask for money to help pay for an emergency. The victim, who now believes they truly know this person in another country, obliges only to be left without hundreds or even thousands of dollars.
Although these scams originated in Nigeria, people in other parts of the world have caught on so be wary of anyone showing these signs regardless of origin.
Who’s at Risk?
In many cases, a Nigerian scam can happen to anyone willing to take the bait, and there doesn’t seem to be a definite target with past scams targeting middle-aged men and women, both in platonic and romantic forms. It’s often a play on human emotions that these “Nigerian Princes” use to accomplish fraud, according to an article called “Why We Still Fall for the ‘Nigerian Prince’ Scam” published in the Conversation.
“We did not evolve to live in a world of strangers,” Frank T. McAndrew, Ph.D., wrote. “Our brains are wired to live in relatively small tribes in which everyone’s character and past behavior is well-known. For this reason, we overconfidently ascribe qualities to someone we’ve never met in person but have corresponded with.”
How to Protect Yourself
The Better Business Bureau encourages people to delete and ignore any letters from Nigeria — or another country — that asks you to send your personal bank information. Additionally, you should be suspicious of people who are eager to give you large sums of money in exchange for your bank account number. Deny any friend requests you get on Facebook from people you don’t know, and ignore messages on dating sites from people outside of your area.
You should also have your bank inform you how long it will take to verify a cashier’s check you’ve received and wait for the funds to clear before proceeding with the transaction. However, if you find yourself knee-deep in a scam, call the U.S. Secret Service as soon as possible at 202-406-5572 or email 419.fcd@usss.treas.gov.
Military Real-Life Scam
In 2015, a Houston single mother was swindled out of $44,550 by a man posing as a U.S. Army captain stationed in Afghanistan, according to the Military Times. The man, who went by Clark McGarthy, reached out to the woman and the two began to chat. She soon fell for him and even told people he was her soul mate.
Their conversation quickly moved to text and email. He then asked her to sign for a military package filled with his all of his belongings. But to make that happen, the Houston woman had to send over money. The fees to clear the package racked up, and the woman ended up spending $44,550 in less than a month.
Our Story: That Time We Were Scammed Out of $6K
How It Works
Con artists posing as a U.S. soldier will seek out a person to befriend — or flirt with — online. This typically happens via social media or various dating sites. Scammers often use real pictures and identities of current or former U.S. soldiers to help legitimize their online presence. After developing a relationship with the person, scammers will request money to help support false service-related needs, such as transportation costs, communication fees, marriage, processing and medical fees, according to the U.S. Army Criminal Investigation Division (CID).
Who’s at Risk?
Similar to Facebook scams, single women are often the target of these scams. Online criminals will regularly pose as a male U.S soldier “looking for an honest woman,” or as a person with a “deceased wife” among other things, according to the U.S. Army CID.
How to Protect Yourself
Often scammers rely on people’s lack of knowledge about military protocol to get their victims to send money. The U.S. Army CID put together a list of answers and red flags to help people guard themselves against common military scams. For example, soldiers and their families aren’t charged money when that soldier goes on leave. Additionally, soldiers have medical insurance so their loved ones won’t have to pay for their medical expenses. Soldiers deployed to combat zones will also not ask for money to feed or house their troops. And one of the most important things to note is that a general officer will never be on a dating site.
In-Person Scam
Businesswoman Debra Newell was 59 when she met the “man of her dreams,” John Meehan, on a dating site. He claimed to be a professional in the medical field, a devoted Christian, divorced and a father of two. Newell and Meehan hit it off. After two months, the couple moved in together and were married shortly after that. But things began to unravel as Newell’s family began to suspect Meehan was not the man he said he was. They were right. Turns out Meehan had quite the storied past that involved prison, plus scamming and harassing women similar to Newell. The couple broke up but Meehan refused to part ways with Newell and her family. It all came to a head when Meehan attacked Newell’s daughter Terra, which resulted in Meehan’s death.
How It Works
Newell’s relationship with Meehan, which has since been the plot of a true-crime podcast and TV show both named “Dirty John,” started on a 50s-and-over dating site and then quickly moved offline. Meehan worked to gain Newell’s trust with compliments and professions of love in a short period of time.
Who's at Risk?
It varies because scams can appeal to different ages and demographics. But ultimately, money is often the end-game for scammers both in-person and online so targeting those with money is key. In the case of Debra Newell, she had a lot of it.
How to Protect Yourself
Consumer Reports recommends that you conduct your own small investigation of the people you date. If you have suspicions, try doing a Google search of the person and see what comes up. You can also scope out their other social media pages such as LinkedIn to verify their job information. But don’t be afraid to dive a little deeper. If the person claims to operate an international business, consider calling the U.S. Embassy to confirm that their business is legitimate or pay for a more thorough background check.
Dating scams can be emotionally and financially taxing, but they’re not the only terrible money mistakes people make in the name of love.
More on Relationships
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- 6 Ways Happy Couples Talk About Money
- 10 Awkward Money Scenarios to Avoid on a First Date
- Watch: This Frugal Couple Ditched the 9 to 5 to Live Their Dream Life
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