Come on, admit it: You’ve lusted after things other parents own from time to time. I have. Just seeing all that fabulous, obviously expensive child and parenting paraphernalia is enough to make even the most self-content of us sigh with desire once in a while.
$200 newborn outfits, $1,000 strollers, designer book bags, a couple of swank German cars in the driveway… nice stuff. But while being envious may be natural, it can also be damaging. Many people overspend, under save and delve into debt just trying to keep up or outdo.
Here’s what to do when you find yourself murmuring, “Why do they get that and I don’t? It’s not fair!”
Adopt an “It Doesn’t Matter” Attitude
When you find yourself casting an eye toward what your friends, family members and neighbors have, redirect. Bring your focus back to your own family’s requirements and circumstances, because it is the only thing that matters. What others own is absolutely irrelevant. Make that your personal money mantra, and repeat it as necessary.
Remember What You and Your Kids Truly Need.
The fact is, there are so few consumer items that any of us must have to survive and achieve happiness. It’s always best to maintain a firm grasp on the difference between your wants and needs. Don’t pander to the ridiculous and patently false mentality of thinking something luxurious is a necessity simply because those around you have one.
Be Grateful for What You Do Have.
Chances are high that you’re considerably more fortunate than countless others in this vast world. While you’re in a thankful mode, make an effort to be happy for those who’ve reached financial success. Why? As Voltaire once said, “Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”
Be Proud You aren’t Raising an Entitled Child.
Even if you did have the means to purchase what the proverbial Jones’s lavish their children with, you probably shouldn’t do so anyway. You want them to appreciate the small things in life as well as the occasional splurge, right? Bestowing them with all that glitz at once can spoil a good thing–your kids.
See Though the Illusion of Wealth.
Very often the more stuff people have, the more money they owe. Unless you’re privy to other people’s bank accounts and investments, you have no idea whether or not they’re living on the financial edge and are weeping into their pillows from the stress every night. That’s certainly not something you want to covet, so assume nothing.
Finally, go ahead and indulge on a little cool something when you can. Perhaps you’re holding too tight to the purse strings but for some reason are resenting others for their extravagances. Most of us work intensely hard for our money and enjoying it is a must.
Do what you like with your precious dollars as long as you don’t sacrifice the basics, are preparing for the future and you genuinely love the item or service. Teach this value assessment to your kids, too, starting at a very young age. It can prevent them from turning to you when they’re older, and pleading, “But everyone else has one, Mom! I have to have it.”
Erica Sandberg is the author of Expecting Money: The Essential Financial Plan for New and Growing Families, a columnist/reporter for CreditCards.com, and writer for the San Francisco Chronicle’s SFGate. Her articles and insight are featured in such publications as the Wall Street Journal, Redbook, MarketWatch, Forbes.com, and Smartmoney.com. Erica is the financial education director/co-host of the web program Change Starts at Home, and a frequent guest on ABC News, Forbes Video Network, Fox Business Network, Businessweek-TV, and National Business Report. Prior to freelancing, she was affiliated with Consumer Credit Counseling Service of San Francisco for over ten years.