I’m Retired and Regret Moving Out of New York — Here’s Why
Written by
Tobi Opeyemi Amure
Edited by
Zuri Anderson
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Many retirees dream of leaving New York in search of cheaper living, warmer weather and a slower pace. For some, the move delivers exactly that. But for others, the reality doesn’t match the fantasy. Mark S., 68, is one such retiree.
Three years ago, he and his wife packed up their lives in New York and headed to North Carolina, lured by the promise of lower taxes and a bigger house. Now, Mark wishes he’d thought twice.
Mark’s story, inspired by a comment shared on Reddit, reveals the unexpected downsides of leaving the Empire State behind, and offers a cautionary tale for anyone considering a similar move.
The Allure of Affordability Came at a Cost
Mark and his wife were enticed by the numbers.
“We left New York for North Carolina, thinking we’d get more house for our money and lower taxes,” he recalled. “At first, it felt like a smart financial move, but honestly, I regret it now.”
While their new home was bigger and their property taxes lower, Mark soon realized that savings alone couldn’t replace the life they’d built in New York. The couple found themselves missing more than just the city skyline.
Missing Friends, Family and Community
One of Mark’s biggest regrets is leaving behind his social circle.
“I miss my friends, the energy of the city and even the seasons,” he admits. The vibrant community, spontaneous meetups, and the simple pleasure of running into familiar faces on the street were things he’d taken for granted.
Building new friendships in a new state proved harder than expected.
“We thought we’d visit New York often, but it’s expensive and tiring,” Mark said. “I didn’t realize how much I’d miss being able to walk everywhere, the food and just feeling connected.”
Healthcare Surprises
Healthcare was another area where expectations didn’t match reality.
“Healthcare was supposed to be cheaper, but finding good doctors has been harder than expected,” Mark explained. In New York, he and his wife had longstanding relationships with trusted physicians and access to world-class hospitals. In their new town, navigating the local healthcare system felt overwhelming and, at times, disappointing.
Lifestyle Changes and Unexpected Challenges
Mark also underestimated how much he’d miss the city’s walkability and culture. The ability to stroll to a favorite deli, catch a show or simply enjoy the buzz of the city was irreplaceable.
Even the weather, which he thought he’d enjoy, came with its own drawbacks.
“We thought we’d love the warmer climate, but I miss the changing seasons. There’s something about a crisp fall day in New York you just can’t get anywhere else,” Mark said.
Advice for Future Retirees
Mark’s experience has left him with some hard-earned advice for others considering a move out of New York:
- “If I could do it over, I’d have stayed put or at least rented for a while before making such a big move,” he said. “The grass isn’t always greener.”
- Visit your new city in every season before committing.
- Consider what you’ll miss about your current home; community, culture, healthcare, and even the weather.
- Weigh the emotional and social costs, not just the financial ones.
For Mark, the decision to leave New York was more complicated than he ever imagined. While the financial benefits were real, the loss of connection, culture and comfort made the move bittersweet.
“The grass isn’t always greener,” he reflects. “Sometimes, what you’re looking for is right where you started.”
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