Are Boomers ‘Emotionally Unready’ to Retire?

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When I turned 50, my younger friends joked about me joining the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) and threw the word “retirement” around like it was an exciting travel destination. I laughed, but underneath, I felt uneasy about losing my identity and becoming invisible.

Even as a retirement expert, the idea of retiring felt intimidating. I told myself I was too young to think about it, but watching a close family member struggle to let go of her career made me realize how hard it can be to retire — not financially, but emotionally.

A recent survey from The Journal of Financial Planning confirmed that most retirees feel the same. Only 11% said they were very emotionally ready for retirement. My family member’s experience made that statistic real and led me to a startling realization: I need to be both emotionally and financially prepared to retire. Even though I was raised to focus on my finances, it’s clear that money isn’t the only form of currency I need in retirement.

Inside America’s Biggest Retirement Fears

Entering retirement often means giving up full-time employment — and for many, that also means a loss of income. In The Journal of Financial Planning‘s survey, most respondents cited running out of money as the primary reason they fear retirement. My family member confided that this same concern was a key factor in postponing her own retirement.

Other retirement fears reflected in the survey include: 

• Being unable to maintain the same lifestyle: People who contemplate retirement don’t want to lose the ability to take vacations and spend freely.
• Facing long-term care costs: Many would-be retirees aren’t fully prepared for the healthcare costs that come with advancing age. In the survey, participants feared medical expenses more than inflation or market fluctuations. 
• Becoming a burden: Most people reaching retirement age have a fierce desire to remain independent and not rely on loved ones for financial or personal care. Those contemplating retirement may push themselves to work longer because they don’t want to be a burden on family members or friends. 

Why Lack of Emotional Readiness Could Become the Next Retirement Crisis

It doesn’t surprise me that so many people, like me, are emotionally unprepared to retire. There’s a clear emphasis on the financial aspect of retirement:

• You should contribute to your 401(k).
• You should have a diversified set of investments, including stocks, bonds and exchange-traded funds (ETFs).
• Make sure you also maintain liquid assets, like a high-yield savings account.

But we almost never discuss what it means to be emotionally ready to leave the workforce behind.

We Plan for Money — Not for Meaning

Society conditions us from an early age to get a great job, buy that dream home and build a comfortable nest egg — but the meaning of retirement is seldom discussed. What does it mean to retire successfully?

There’s little conversation around the retirement lifestyle because we’re conditioned to think about finances exclusively. I am guilty of this, too. As soon as I entered midlife, retirement felt like a curse word — something that threatened my identity.

Why Emotional Readiness Matters as Much as Financial Planning

More emphasis needs to be placed on social connections, daily routines and finding meaningful purpose before retirement. These elements help ensure we’re emotionally ready — not just financially stable.

This lack of emotional readiness is likely to persist, or even worsen, as people are living longer and postponing retirement. Many will ease into retirement gradually instead of taking a clean break.

Quick Fact

According to GOBankingRates research, retirees who are 65 expect to spend 20 years in retirement. In at least five states, $1 million and Social Security benefits could be wiped out in less than 20 years.

Why Emotional Readiness Can’t Wait

Being financially ready is only half the equation — emotional readiness requires doing what I didn’t do when I first began planning for retirement:

• Think about your retirement while you’re still working.
• Reflect on your daily routine when you’re not working.
• Evaluate how you want to spend your time and who you want to spend it with.
• Use your freedom to explore — schedule exercise time, meet with friends or enroll in a hobby class. 

How To Know if You’re Emotionally Ready To Retire

When I realized I needed to start preparing emotionally for retirement, I created a checklist to guide me. It might help you, too, if you’re in a similar place.

Reflection Questions

• What is my identity outside of work?
• What will give me a sense of purpose other than my job?
• How do I feel about leaving my job? What emotions come up?

Day-to-Day Questions

• What does my day-to-day look like?
• Are there activities I am interested in?
• Do I like flexibility in my schedule?

Social Connections

• What are my social connections?
• Are these connections outside my work environment?
• Do I plan to spend more time with family?

Growth Questions

• Do I want to pursue a learning opportunity or a new hobby?
• Do I want to volunteer at a charity or donate my time to a cause?
• Would I like to travel more?

Expert Advice: How To Get Emotionally Ready for Retirement

Retirement isn’t just about taking care of finances — it also means knowing who you are without your job. Preparing for these lifestyle adjustments involves focusing on mental, financial and social health. Here are some tips: 

Plan Early To Reduce Your Financial Anxiety

• Consult a financial planner: Discuss your income sources, including pensions, Social Security benefits and investments. If you don’t have a planner, ask friends and family for recommendations or check the Financial Planning Association. When I met with a financial planner, I reviewed my goals, retirement timeline and risk tolerance. I’d recommend reflecting on those items so you can actively participate in the conversation.
• Create an emergency fund: Have a cash buffer so that if unexpected expenses do pop up, you don’t need to dip into your investments. If you started saving for retirement late in life, you could put your money in a high-yield savings account, open a certificate of deposit (CD) or invest in bonds.
• Readjust your financial portfolio: Depending on your circumstances, you may need to rebalance your portfolio — especially after major life changes like a job switch, divorce or health issue. Be proactive in managing your risk. As you near retirement, consider shifting more funds to bonds and less toward stocks.
• Optimize what you can control: If you’re worried about taxable income in retirement, consider opening a Roth IRA. Pay down high-interest debt to reduce financial anxiety and prepare for healthcare costs by maxing out your health savings accounts (HSAs), exploring long-term care plans and learning Medicare timelines.

Ease Into Lifestyle Adjustments

• Understand your purpose: Set goals around your interests and passions before you retire. Use this time to fulfill your purpose — whether that means traveling or learning a new skill. 
• Create a new routine: Try a few different routines until you find what fits your new lifestyle. It may feel unfamiliar at first, but eventually you’ll find your rhythm. 
• Develop your social connections: Let people know you’re transitioning into retirement. Get dates on the calendar for coffee, movies or activities. 

Expert Tip

Preparing yourself financially is the gateway to being emotionally ready for retirement. When you focus on clearing financial hurdles, it becomes easier to do a trial run on the lifestyle adjustments you’ll need to make.

This two-fold approach can help you transition smoothly into what it feels like to embrace retired life.

The Bottom Line

I wanted to put off thinking about retirement, but I also understand there are consequences to this approach. Putting off my feelings wouldn’t make retirement go away.

To start, I looked at my financial landscape and then made a list of goals I wanted to accomplish. This paved the way for me to ask questions regarding my emotional readiness. I made a list of pros and cons on what I thought about retirement and took a hard look at the things that made me feel uncomfortable.

I’m not completely comfortable about embracing retirement, but I know I had to begin somewhere. That’s my advice to you, too. Start now. Work on a sound financial plan and create an emotional readiness checklist so that you can enter retirement with renewed confidence.

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