Jason Tartick: 3 Habits for Easier Money Conversations with Your Partner
Written by
Lieza Klemm
Edited by
Amen Oyiboke
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Money can be a sensitive topic for partners to talk about.
According to financial expert and former contestant on The Bachelorette, Jason Tartick, only about half of couples discuss it, and most of those couples say it brings tension to the relationship.
And statistics agree with Tartick — a survey from Bread Financial found that 58% of millennials and 57% of zoomers have arguments with their partners when discussing finances.
But for partners figuring out how to make talking about money easier, here are three habits that will help.
Communicate Clearly on Spending Priorities
A lack of clear communication between partners leads to assumptions that can deteriorate a relationship.
“It’s the assumption that the communication happened. It’s the assumption that we prioritize spending in the same ways,” Tartick, author of “Talk Money to Me,” said in a recent interview on the Richer Way Podcast.
“It’s the assumption that we know how bills and things will be split.”
Grey areas are created when finances aren’t discussed in a relationship, and Tartick said these grey areas can lead to resentment.
“We know that resentment can completely disarm and break away not only friendships but loved ones too,” he said.
Not talking about finances, such as goals and boundaries, can bring confusion into relationships. Understanding financial priorities is the same as understanding the other priorities in your partner’s life and career.
“The thing is we need [to not] judge when it comes to money conversations,” Tartick said, “and we need to understand what the priorities are of the people that we love and compromise.”
Respect Financial Boundaries
While compromise is an important part of maintaining relationships, setting boundaries is key to a sustainable relationship.
“If you put a boundary in place, the healthy person will be able to understand it and adhere to it, especially if they care for you,” Tartick said.
If there are certain things that aren’t acceptable in a relationship, consider creating boundaries around finances. What are certain purchases should be discussed before buying, and what aren’t?
“We need to take some of the practices that we’ve been taught by our parents … with love,” Tartick said, “and actually apply them to money and boundaries.”
Consider You and Your Partner’s Emotions Around Money
Money is emotional. Some people spend money when they’re happy, sad, or angry.
“When we feel emotional pain, it does connect to our wallet,” Tartick said.
He recommends following a behavioral-based budget to find out where you’re emotionally spending money.
“‘Why did I do that? Was I people-pleasing? Did I do it for me? Was I trying to project wealth onto someone else? Did I get caught in a situation where I didn’t communicate it and they thought I was paying?'” continued Tartick.
“You could actually learn a lot from your outlying spending behaviors.”
Asking your partner about why they spend money on certain items or services, and why they feel the need to do it, can bring you closer together.
If either person in the relationship doesn’t feel comfortable revealing their feelings, there might be deeper issues. Having healthy conversations about money is important to solving those financial issues,
Combining these habits in a relationship can lead to healthy discussions about money and how both people in the relationship view it.
Remember to have respect for your partner and their feelings around emotion. Talking about finances is a loaded topic for so many people, and calmly communicating about it is important.
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