Dave Ramsey: Don’t Share Finances With Anyone but Your Spouse — Here’s Why
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Cindy Lamothe
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Molly Sullivan
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All is fair in love and war — but what about love and finances?
This is a line in the sand you shouldn’t cross, according to Dave Ramsey.
In a recent post to his X account (formerly Twitter), the money expert wrote: “Never combine finances or purchase a house with someone you’re not married to. Until you say ‘I do,’ your money belongs to you.”
Brian K. Seymour II, principal and CEO of Prosperitage Wealth, said that joining lives through marriage means more than just moving in together and picking baby names.
“Combining financial households requires an understanding of not only the assets and liabilities of each individual but also their money mindsets and habits that will become intertwined as well,” he explained.
He said you should think twice about combining finances before marriage, as there are so many variables to consider.
“Beliefs around money are often formed at an early age and those habits influence many life choices. It can be difficult, if not impossible, to ascertain your future spouse’s complete financial picture by judging their designer shoes, European coupe, and generous gratuity during your dinner dates. Have they reached a firm financial foothold or are they constantly overextending themselves and maxing out credit cards to cultivate a particular image?”
Your Partner’s Debts Will Become Yours
“For some people, finances are a wide-open topic and easy-to-share subject matter,” said Martin Gasparian, attorney and owner of Maison Law. “For others, their checkbooks are locked down tighter than Fort Knox on training day.”
As an experienced attorney, he’s helped many clients recoup due funds or separate complicated financial connections, specifically in divorce cases.
“I believe all individuals should be financially independent unless they are entering into a marriage — if they choose to be post-nuptial — or if they are unable to make sound and beneficial financial decisions.”
“Being in charge of your own assets and bank accounts is a wise step toward financial autonomy, which is truly a priceless position to be in,” he explained.
“Based on my professional experience, I have seen numerous situations where money brings unnecessary complications, and in some cases, obligations when there is no need for such. While I understand the idea that if a couple is sharing a home or mutual feelings of forever — the reality is unless there is a legal component in place, we are all truly only responsible for ourselves,” he said.
“I do not legally advise someone to take on financial responsibility or association with someone haphazardly, simply because their debts may become yours, and financial recourse will be even more difficult if relationship issues ensue.”
Your Credit Could Get Destroyed
“Your unmarried partner could destroy your credit,” said Melanie Musson, finance expert with Clearsurance. Whereas marriage, she said, provides legal protection.
“When you get married, you have financial protection if you break up. There are laws to protect you and your ex-partner.”
Additionally, she said that when you’re not married and you break up with your significant other, it is harder to separate your lives if one partner decides to be vindictive.
“The other person could drain a bank account and you’d have no recourse to get back what you perceive to be yours.”
If you own a house together, she explained that the other person could quit paying what they had been, putting you at risk of defaulting on your mortgage, losing your house and destroying your credit.
“If you keep all your finances separate when you’re not married, their financial irresponsibility will affect them and not you.”
It Hinders Your Financial Independence
When you’re married, the law has clear rules about what happens to your money and assets if things go south, said True Tamplin, founder of Finance Strategists.
“Before marriage, it’s like the Wild West — there’s no legal framework protecting you if you break up.”
He said keeping finances separate before marriage lets you manage your money in a way that works best for you, adding an extra layer of security.
“It means if things don’t work out, you’re not left trying to untangle your finances from your ex’s, which can be a real headache. Plus, handling your own finances teaches you valuable money management skills.”
“You learn how to budget, save, and spend wisely on your own, which are essential skills for anyone, married or not,” he added. “Sharing finances before you’re legally bound can blur these lines, making it harder to maintain financial independence and personal financial growth.”
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