Dave Ramsey’s Take on Financial Independence: ‘Don’t Bet Your Future on Someone Else’s Wallet’
Written by
Laura Bogart
Edited by
Kristen Mae
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Ah, love. It’s a rush of emotion and connection, a desire to be with your new partner at all times. But in some instances, there’s a thin line between love and codependence. And codependence can lead to foolish, potentially destructive decisions.
That seemed to be the case at hand for the mother of a caller to “The Ramsey Show.” According to the caller, her mom wanted to quit her job and sell her house to move in with a new boyfriend.
The daughter didn’t exactly see the romantic grandeur in her mother’s desire to be taken care of by her new beau — she was deeply concerned about what she saw as a potentially ruinous financial and life decision. Ramsey was equally worried, especially since there was no plan for marriage in the future.
“That’s not a financial plan — that’s a disaster waiting to happen,” he said.
Why It’s a Bad Decision
Ramsey was characteristically blunt in his assessment of the situation, calling it a “sugar daddy” arrangement and adding, “It doesn’t always turn out sunshine, rainbows and Skittles.”
Some might argue that there’s nothing wrong with an arrangement between two consenting adults who are in love. Ramsey’s response? There’s definitely something wrong with an arrangement where the caller’s mother could end up “traded in for a younger model” and tossed out with no money or resources of her own. As nice as it might sound to never worry about paying bills, that same promise could also prove alluring to other women.
In essence, she’d be putting herself in a financially vulnerable position, giving him all the power over her money — which means giving him power over her life. She had only known her new partner for a few months, and if he turned out to be controlling or abusive, she’d have no house, no job, and no financial safety net.
“Before you make a life-changing decision, always ask yourself: If this doesn’t work out, will I still be okay? If the answer is no, then it’s not a smart move,” Ramsey advised.
The Protections of Marriage
Part of Ramsey’s reluctance to co-sign Mom’s plan is the fact that there was no plan for marriage. Even if the mother’s partner wasn’t a bad guy, the arrangement still put her at risk because she wouldn’t have the legal protections of marriage.
Beyond just signifying a long-term commitment, putting a ring on it (to paraphrase Beyoncé) would give her more financial protection and stability. She’d be in a position to pursue a prenuptial agreement that could help ensure she would be financially protected if the relationship ended.
While the primary concern was that Mom could be abandoned at any time depending on her partner’s whim, there were other financial risks to consider. If her partner passed away, would she be assured of maintaining her lifestyle? Marriage would put her in a better position to inherit all or a portion of his estate.
Why You Should Still Make Your Own Money
While Ramsey doesn’t oppose one spouse supporting another within a marriage or working inside the home, other experts want people — especially women — to maintain financial independence regardless of their marital status.
Tori Dunlap, author and founder of “Her First 100K” and, incidentally, no fan of Ramsey’s advice, argues that money should mean freedom and empowerment. She stresses the importance of a woman having her own “F-you fund,” which enables her to walk away from situations that no longer serve her, including toxic relationships.
When a woman earns her own money, she has the power to make her own decisions that aren’t tied to anyone else’s purse strings. And that’s the ultimate financial independence.
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