4 Reasons To Give Your Adult Child Money (And 2 Reasons Not To)
Written by
Cindy Lamothe
Edited by
Angela Corry
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Like all things in life, too much of a good thing can go very, very wrong — particularly, when it comes to doling out money to adult kids.
According to experts, there are many appropriate instances when help is needed, and then there are times when doing so can hinder an adult child’s growth.
Here are the financial situations in which it is okay to give a grown child money — and when not to.
To Help With a Down Payment on a Home
“I suggest that contributing to your adult child’s down payment is a meaningful way to provide generational support,” said Max Avery, a Chief Business Development Officer at Syndicately.
He said this investment in their stability gives them a solid financial start, as homeownership often builds long-term wealth.
“This includes gaining access to favorable mortgage terms and avoiding costly rental payments.”
To Fund Emergency Expenses
Avery noted that the best way to offer monetary support is to cover emergency needs like car repairs, legal issues or temporary unemployment that prevent your child from spiraling into debt or compromising their financial stability.
“This support should not be a long-term solution, but rather a temporary boost to help your child stay on track.”
Help With Major Life Transitions
David Cooper, PsyD, therapist and strategic advisor of Yung Sidekick, observed that helping with money during tough transitions is a good reason to help adult children with money, as a way to make big life changes less stressful.
“It can be hard to handle big changes like buying a house, having a family, or changing jobs.”
He said these situations can sometimes cause anxiety and depression.
“Helping people with money in these situations has helped ease some of their mental stress, letting them focus on their personal and professional growth. Not having to think about money can help them deal with changes better and do better during these times, which is good for their mental and emotional health as a whole.”
Helping Growth And Education
“Based on my work with people and families, I think that helping their education and personal growth is one of the best reasons to give money to adult children,” said Cooper. “I’ve seen personally as a psychologist how education, whether formal or through skill development, can have a big effect on a person’s confidence, sense of purpose, and long-term success.”
He explained that helping older children pay for school or training gives them the tools they need to be independent and reach their own goals, which is good for their mental health in the long run.
“Investing in these ways makes them feel strong, which boosts their self-esteem and makes them proud of what they’ve done.”
Two Reasons Not To
If It Enables Risky Behavior
“If your child is struggling with addiction or making poor life choices, financial support could unintentionally enable those behaviors,” said Avery.
He advised focusing instead, on providing emotional support or funding for rehabilitation instead.
“For instance, if your child is struggling with alcoholism, consider paying for therapy or joining a support group rather than giving them money to pay off their debts.”
If It Creates Dependence
“I would never recommend giving your adult child money regularly unless they have a legitimate reason, such as a disability or illness that prevents them from working,” said Avery. “Providing ongoing financial support can create dependence and hinder your child’s personal growth and independence.”
He added that it also sets an unhealthy precedent for future requests and could strain your relationship.
“The best way is to encourage them to stand on their own financially rather than rely on you as a safety net.”
Cooper emphasized the same.
“It’s important to be aware that giving money may encourage bad habits.”
“When parents give money to adult children to live beyond their means, like to support bad financial choices or a lavish lifestyle, it can make them dependent, guilty, and unable to take responsibility for their actions.”
He said this hurts their self growth, making them weak and can also make it hard for parents and kids to get along.
“It’s important to teach your adult children about money management because it makes them feel better about themselves and gives them more freedom.”
Additionally, he advised that parents shouldn’t just give their kids money; instead, they should teach them how to make smart financial decisions and give life skills for long-term success.
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