5 Subtle Clues Your ‘Rich’ Friend Is Actually Drowning in Debt
Written by
Laura Bogart
Edited by
Kristen Mae
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For years, you’ve been envious of that one friend — the one who seems better suited to hobnobbing on Rodeo Drive than going to the local thrift store with you. The one who acts like they’ve got all their money issues sorted out — if they ever had any in the first place. The one who appears to be, frankly, loaded.
They’re always suggesting that restaurant that feels like a credit card headache waiting to happen. Or going shopping at that fancy outlet where you could only afford the complimentary sparkling water handed out by well-heeled attendants.
You just don’t know how your friend managed to get so rich, never supposing that maybe, they aren’t. Perhaps their fabulous lifestyle isn’t backed by actual wealth, but by a whole lot of credit that’s now coming due. You shouldn’t be shocked if you’ve noticed any of these telltale signs that your rich friend is actually just drowning in debt.
1. They’re Splurging on Things You Know They Can’t Afford
Given that you two met while working at the same job or in the same industry, you have a rough idea of what they make. Or maybe they got a little sauced at happy hour and told you outright. So you know they don’t have the salary to be sporting that Cartier bracelet on Instagram. And they certainly don’t make enough to fly first class to Bali, like their new “get ready with me” video on TikTok would suggest.
2. They’re Always Returning Items
Your wealthy friend could turn shopping into an endurance sport. The one time you went with them to the mall, you got all your steps in and then some. Helping them load their bags into the car felt like weight training. But ask yourself: Have you ever actually seen them sporting any of their new finds?
If the answer is no, they might have returned them already.
After the initial rush out of their shopping spree, or maybe appearing once wearing that fabulous watch, they know — but they don’t want you to know — that they can’t afford their purchases. So, they quietly take it all back. It’s not about keeping the item; it’s about being seen with it, however fleetingly.
3. They’re Super Casual About Debt in Conversation
You’re out getting coffee and your friend mentions some new store they’re eager to try or that trip they’re “just dying” to take (never mind that they just got back from another vacation). Laughing, you say that your credit cards would spontaneously combust if you tried to charge that much. Your friend doesn’t get the joke. “What’s wrong with credit card debt?” they say with a shrug. “It’s not like you’ll get thrown in jail over it.”
When you explain that, no, debt won’t land you in a Dickensian debtor’s prison, but it will hurt your credit score, potentially limiting your ability to rent an apartment, buy a car or qualify for a mortgage, they just stare at you blankly. Here’s the thing: Truly wealthy people understand the cost of high-interest debt — and avoid it.
4. They Bail on Outings That Cost Money
You and your friends finally align your schedules for a night out. Until, at the last minute, your supposedly rich friend cancels. Something came up. A medical thing. Um, an explosion. Yeah, no, everyone’s OK — they’ll talk to you later. It happens like clockwork.
Have you ever considered that it might be because your friend is worried their credit card will decline in front of you?
If your friend is constantly bailing on your outings, it might be to save face because they don’t want to be caught without a way to pay.
5. You Spot Past Due Notices in Their Home
OK, this one might not be so subtle. You’re sitting in your friend’s house, casually seething over how much bigger and nicer it is compared to yours. Then you happen to glance at the coffee table and notice a letter with big, all-caps letters on the envelope: PAST DUE. In terms of flaunting their lifestyle, your friend literally can’t put their money where their mouth is.
Bottom Line
Remember that old saying: the grass is always greener on the other side. Well, sometimes you get there and find out it’s astroturf. Don’t compare yourself to your wealthy friend, especially when they might be stuck in a cycle of trying to keep up appearances they can’t afford to maintain.
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