Ramit Sethi: Why Financial Infidelity Could Destroy Your Relationship
Written by
Chris Adam
Edited by
Daria Uhlig
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Many consumers consider retail therapy a harmless way to improve their moods or console themselves after hard life events. But it turns out that more people are committing financial infidelity by hiding those purchases from their partners.
Here’s how that could destroy your relationship and what you can do to turn things around.
A 2023 survey by Circuit, a delivery management company, found that nearly two-thirds (64%) of people living together had hidden a purchase from their partners in the past year. Almost one in 10 had gone so far as to have altered or manipulated financial records in an effort to keep their spending secret.
Ramit Sethi, a personal finance expert and author, weighed in on the trend in a recent “Today” show segment on stealth shopping, the term used by The Wall Street Journal in its reporting on financial infidelity.
“Hiding purchases means that something has gone very wrong before you ever swiped the credit card. It means you’re not communicating effectively as a couple. It means you haven’t created a vision of how you both want to spend your money.”
It should come as no surprise that financial infidelity could hurt the trust in your relationship. “Financial infidelity is absolutely devastating, and we have to remember that lying erodes trust, but lying about money destroys it,” Sethi said during the “Today” segment.
Further, if you and your partner can’t trust each other when it comes to managing money and making purchases, it could hurt your overall finances. That’s partly because you may avoid discussions about money and instead spend however you want.
One obvious way to avoid or stop financial infidelity is to be upfront and honest with your partner. Let them know how shopping makes you feel.
How can you recover from financial infidelity in your relationship? According to Clarity Therapy NYC, one thing you can do is to listen to your partner without judgment. Then you can work together on a plan and strive for transparency.
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