Dave Ramsey: ‘Why Is It Your Job’ To Financially Support Aging Parents?
Written by
Angela Mae
Edited by
Amber Barkley
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In a recent TikTok video, a caller by the name of Marie reached out to Dave Ramsey about supporting her parents financially as they get older. In the call, she stated that her parents don’t have any money saved for retirement purposes. She also said that she and her husband do not want her parents to live with them in the future for undisclosed reasons.
During the call, Ramsey asked the caller several questions, such as why it’s Marie’s responsibility to take care of her parents and why they wouldn’t have any money — not even Social Security — during retirement. By the end of the conversation, Ramsey determined that it’s not Marie’s responsibility to take care of her parents financially.
If you’re in a similar situation as Marie and are wondering about whether or not you should support your parents, here are some things to consider.
Your Parents Might Be Earning More Than You
In the video, Ramsey asked Marie why her parents don’t have any money at all, since she expressed concern about their financial well-being. He also asked whether they’re paying their own bills — like a mortgage — or not.
In response, Marie noted that her parents currently don’t have a house and are moving to another state for her father’s new job. She said that her parents did own a house before but that, due to a series of decisions over the past few years, they’ve gone through their home equity.
When asked how much her father’s new job is paying, Marie said it would be around $280,000 a year. She also said that her father has always made around $200,000 or so a year, visibly surprising Ramsey.
As Ramsey put it, it’s not your given responsibility to support your parents. But if they’re making that kind of money, it’s even less your responsibility.
This isn’t to say that you can’t help your parents out if it actually makes sense. An article on Ramsey’s website dives into the different ways of helping your parents plan and save for retirement. It is important to understand your parents’ financial situation, though. If they’re making good money, you as their child shouldn’t worry so much about supporting them.
Are Your Household Finances High Enough?
While it’s understandable to be worried about your aging parents, that still doesn’t make it your job to take care of them financially. This is especially true when they make far more money than you do and are just as capable of making their own decisions.
In the call, Marie said that she brings in around $4,000 a month, while her husband makes $3,600 a month for a combined total of roughly $91,000 a year. Her concern that her parents aren’t handling their finances well might be valid but, as Ramsey pointed out, it’s “asinine” to worry about someone making around $300,000 a year — especially when your own income is far lower.
When Marie expressed her concerns that her father’s income wouldn’t be permanent, Ramsey countered by saying that it sounded like her father could just get another job in the future if he needed the money.
When determining whether or not to support your parents financially, take into consideration your own financial situation. Regardless of who you are, you’re probably better off focusing on your own financial future before focusing on someone else’s.
Your Upbringing Can Have a Big Impact
One thing Marie noted in the call was that she loves her parents and is worried about them because she has seen the trajectory of their finances. Ramsey responded by saying that it’s not her job to take care of them or even to get them off the streets if they do become homeless in the future.
Now, in the call, there’s not much to go off of in terms of Marie’s cultural or personal background. But your upbringing can deeply influence your belief system and sense of responsibility toward your older relatives, even to the point where you put their well-being above your own.
Upbringing aside, it’s natural to love your parents and want what’s best for them. But if they’re being irresponsible or if you’re still figuring out your own finances, you’re probably not doing anybody any favors by putting their needs above your own.
Are You Focused Enough on Building Your Own Wealth?
While not mentioned in the call, part of Dave Ramsey’s core wealth-building system is to get your own finances on track first and foremost. In fact, he even has a 7-step process — the Baby Steps — for doing just this:
- Start by saving $1,000 for emergencies.
- Pay off your debts, excluding your mortgage.
- Save between 3 and 6 months’ worth of expenses in an emergency fund.
- Invest 15% of your income for retirement.
- Build a college fund for your children.
- Pay off your mortgage.
- Build wealth and give back.
According to Ramsey, even if it’s tempting to switch up the steps a little, it’s better to follow them, as this will contribute to your — and your loved ones’ — financial stability. And, in cases like Marie’s where her father is still working, it’s especially important to focus on your own household now.
If the time comes when you need to help out your loved ones, you can reevaluate your situation then. But for now, it’s not your responsibility to support your parents financially.
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