I’m the High-Earner in My Relationship: Here’s Why I Don’t Pay Most of Our Bills
Written by
Aja McClanahan
Edited by
Cory Dudak
Commitment to Our Readers
GOBankingRates' editorial team is committed to bringing you unbiased reviews and information. We use data-driven methodologies to evaluate financial products and services - our reviews and ratings are not influenced by advertisers. You can read more about our editorial guidelines and our products and services review methodology.
20 Years
Helping You Live Richer
Reviewed
by Experts
Trusted by
Millions of Readers
Income disparity in a relationship can work well for some couples, and for others, it can be a true point of contention. Typically, it comes down to splitting expenses in a way that is fair and comfortable for both. If you’re in this situation, check out these tips to help you sort this situation out effectively.
Communicate Sooner than Later
Sit down with your partner and discuss your financial situation, including your income, savings, debts, and financial goals. Transparency is key to understanding each other’s perspectives and finding a middle ground that works for both of you. By setting clear expectations and addressing concerns upfront, you can minimize potential conflicts and build trust.
Create a Financial Arrangement that Works for You Both
There are many options on how couples in this situation can split expenses:
- The high earner covers everything
- Proportionally dividing expenses according to each person’s income
- Splitting all household expenses 50/50
- A combination of one or more of the approaches above
Melissa Jean-Baptiste is a financial educator and founder of the financial literacy blog Millenial in Debt and earns three times her partner’s salary. She says, ” We both knew that splitting the bills 50/50 would be a financial detriment. Instead, we discussed what our lives would look like together financially and chose to split bills according to our individual income.”
As a result, she covers a larger portion of the household expenses, “This resulted in me covering housing costs like the mortgage, homeowners insurance, and HOA while he covers the rest of our expenses like the utilities, groceries, household supplies, and dates.”
Plan for Conflict and Potential Separation
Conflicts can arise even in the most stable, loving relationships, so it makes sense to have a plan in case the relationship ends. Addressing these uncomfortable topics early on could help you avoid a very contentious separation arising from money problems. Some of this planning could include:
- Creating a financial agreement
- Discussing what happens with jointly-owned property
- Have regular check-ins to discuss money and the status of the relationship
- Maintain some financial independence with separate accounts
Melissa Jean-Baptiste also suggests avoiding lifestyle creep when you combine incomes and can potentially afford more expenses as a couple. She explains, “In the event of a separation, will each person be able to sustain their current lifestyle? For example, if we break up, will I be able to afford my car note if I have to take on more expenses as an individual?”
The Bottom Line
Being in a relationship can be hard enough. Adding income disparity to the equation can make things even more difficult. However, with proactive measures that include open communication and planning, it can become easier. Ultimately, the goal is to ensure that both partners feel secure and respected financially, paving the way for a successful, agreeable partnership.
More From GOBankingRates
