Rachel Cruze: How To End Money Fights With Your Spouse

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In the fast-paced world of personal finance, conflicts about money often surface, causing tension and stress in relationships. In one of her latest videos, financial expert Rachel Cruze recently sat down with Jefferson Fisher, a prominent personal injury lawyer and communication specialist. Cruze and Fisher explore practical strategies to break the cycle of repetitive arguments, handle conflicts with grace, and ensure that communication around money becomes a source of unity rather than discord.
1. Break the Cycle of Repetitive Arguments
Cruze starts by addressing one of the most common conflicts in marriages–repetitive arguments about money. Fisher emphasizes the importance of understanding the root cause behind these arguments. He likens it to trying to cut down a tree by trimming its leaves instead of addressing the core issue. When couples find themselves in a loop of the same financial disputes, it often indicates an underlying problem such as trust issues or unspoken fears. Fisher suggests shifting the conversation to the deeper issues at hand, focusing on building trust and addressing fears, rather than getting caught up in surface-level disagreements about joint bank accounts or budgeting.
2. Try Effective Communication Techniques
As the conversation unfolds, Fisher shares valuable insights on effective communication during conflicts. He advises couples to be aware of their emotions and openly express their feelings. Fisher’s key strategies include verbalizing rising frustrations, paying attention to body tension, and deliberately slowing down speech to prevent escalating tension. Cruze and Fisher highlight the importance of self-awareness and discernment in understanding not just what is said but also what is unsaid. Fisher encourages couples to grow in their ability to catch behavioral cues and engage in active listening.
3. Deal With Different Argument Styles
Acknowledging that people have varying argument styles, Fisher addresses the challenge of couples with different processing speeds. He shares personal experiences, highlighting that he and his wife have distinct communication styles. For those who need time and space to process internally, Fisher advises setting boundaries and scheduling dedicated times to revisit conversations. This approach ensures that both partners have the opportunity to contribute fully to the discussion, preventing rushed and incomplete responses.
4. Set Boundaries And Respond To Disrespect
Transitioning to a more assertive stance, Fisher offers guidance on setting and enforcing boundaries, especially when faced with disrespectful behavior. Drawing on his legal expertise, he recommends a clear and direct response when confronted with mean-spirited comments. Couples are urged to assert themselves by saying, “I am not going to be spoken to that way.” Fisher emphasizes that this approach is about protecting one’s emotional well-being rather than attempting to control the other person.
5. Navigate Conflicts For Personal Growth
Cruze and Fisher delve into the internal dynamics of those who unintentionally hurt others during conflicts. Fisher underscores the need for self-reflection and thorough consideration of words before speaking. He encourages individuals to empathize by putting themselves in the other person’s shoes. This thoughtful pause fosters better understanding and prevents the escalation of conflicts. Fisher suggests that the work begins before opening one’s mouth, focusing on both what needs to be said and how it will be received.
This conversation between Rachel Cruze and Jefferson Fisher unravels the complexities of handling money conflicts within relationships. Fisher’s expertise in communication and negotiation provides practical strategies for couples to navigate financial disagreements successfully. From breaking the cycle of repetitive arguments to setting boundaries and fostering personal growth, the insights shared by Cruze and Fisher serve as a valuable guide for couples seeking harmony in their financial conversations.
As they conclude their discussion, the overarching message is clear: By understanding each other, setting boundaries, and communicating effectively, couples can take control of their money and create a life they love.
Editor's note: This article was produced via automated technology and then fine-tuned and verified for accuracy by a member of GOBankingRates' editorial team.