2 Signs Your Friends Are Using You for Money
Written by
Cindy Lamothe
Edited by
Angela Corry
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Having fun going out and spending on food and drinks is one of the great things about having friends — unless you’re the one always footing the bill. No one likes to feel used, especially by people they consider friendly.
‘Knowing when a friend is using your money usually involves paying close attention to the behavioral patterns that occur in the relationship as well as the emotional atmosphere,” said Niloufar Esmaeilpour, Registered Clinical Counsellor, Approved Supervisor and Founder at Lotus Therapy & Counselling Centre.
He noted that friendships are created to be mutual, supplying both parties with emotional nourishment, shared interests and respect for one another.
“If one party always makes contact only to ask for money or puts an uncomfortable amount of emphasis on giving money, this is clearly an imbalance.”
Below are some of the signs your friends are using you for money.
Financial Requests Are One-Sided
“In my experience, one of the clearest signs that a friend may be using you for money is a pattern of behavior where financial requests are one-sided and repetitive,” said Shirley Mueller, finance expert and founder of VA Loans Texas.
For instance, if they only reach out when they need to borrow money or expect you to pick up the tab but rarely reciprocate or show appreciation, it’s a red flag.
“Occasional help between friends is normal, but if the relationship feels transactional and their engagement wanes when you set boundaries, it’s worth evaluating their true intentions.”
Firdaus Syazwani, Founder of Dollar Bureau, agreed this is a clear sign that friends might be using you for money — if they consistently involve you in financial requests or emergencies without reciprocation.
“If you notice a pattern where your interactions are predominantly monetary or they only reach out with financial motives, it’s a red flag.”
“In my years of guiding individuals through complex financial landscapes, I’ve encountered many who’ve felt obliged to support friends financially, only to realize the relationship was disproportionately transactional. It’s important to set boundaries early on.”
A Lack Of Interest In Your Personal Life
Another indicator, according to Syazwani, is a lack of interest in your personal life unless it pertains to financial support.
“Friends who value you for more than your wallet will engage with all facets of your life.”
To stop being used, he recommended starting by having open and honest conversations about your feelings.
“If this seems too uncomfortable for you, just start by saying no to the next financial request. It’s crucial to assert your financial boundaries. If these boundaries are not respected, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship’s health and longevity.”
Advice From Experts
Set Clear Boundaries Without Guilt
To stop letting yourself be used, it’s essential to set firm, respectful boundaries.
Mueller recommended being upfront but kind, saying something like, “I’m focusing on my own financial goals right now, so I can’t help with that.”
“Practicing this with clients has taught me that a genuine friend will understand and not push back, while someone using you might react negatively or try to guilt you.”
The key, she explained, is to avoid explaining too much or justifying your decision.
“Your boundaries don’t require their approval.”
Reassess the Relationship with a Focus on Balance
“Healthy friendships are built on mutual respect, not financial dependence,” said Mueller.
She suggested taking time to reflect on whether your relationship feels balanced.
“Are they there for you in non-monetary ways, like offering emotional support or simply spending time together without expectation? If the relationship feels one-sided, it’s okay to step back.”
“Surround yourself with people who value you for more than your wallet, and remember that saying no to financial exploitation is an act of self-respect, not selfishness.“
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