3 Things Your Money Habits Are Teaching Your Kids
Written by
Cindy Lamothe
Edited by
Molly Sullivan
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Many parents believe how their kids value money comes down to teaching them what they should and shouldn’t do. But in fact, what you do with your own finances is the biggest indicator of how kids will eventually manage their own.
“Children are like little video recorders — they’re constantly watching and absorbing their parents’ money habits, often more than we realize,” said Ruchi Pinniger, finance coach and founder of Watch Her Prosper.
She said that even the simplest everyday actions, like paying bills or grocery shopping, play a huge role in shaping how kids think and feel about money.
“A 2020 study showed that this ‘parental financial modeling’ is one of the most important ways kids learn to manage finances as adults.”
Below are the top things your money habits are teaching your kids.
Being Reward-Driven or Stress-Shopping
“The practice of buying children gifts as a reward for achieving their goals encourages children to have a spending attitude when they want emotional highs,” said Steve Carleton, LCSW, CAS, chief clinical officer at Porch Light Health.
“This may cause children to become reward-driven and expect to be rewarded whenever they accomplish something which can make them feel that their worth and happiness depend on things.”
He said that eventually, this learned behavior of feeling good when money is spent can become a part of them which influences how they will handle their emotions later in their lives.
“As those kids become adults, the tendency may further develop into shopping for ease whenever there is tension.
“Their challenges or feeling down may cause them to engage in spending as a form of respite from their concerns or to feel better.”
The negative aspect of this, Carleton explained, is the fact that such an attitude toward shopping may inhibit them from learning other healthier ways of regulating their emotions and dealing with hardships.
“There will be temporary calmness thereafter and so it creates a vicious cycle of stress spending and stress making both emotionally and financially stressed.”
Additionally, he said there might be the probability of developing a compulsive buying pattern as a result of the habit of spending to celebrate one’s achievements.
“If such consumers envisage shopping as a reward every time they deserve it for any reason, then they tend to buy any and everything regardless of its cost and without any plan or control.”
He noted that such practices can be harmful particularly when children grow and become responsible adults since there is a need to be organized and manage one’s finances properly.
“Parents need to help these patterns from developing by instilling respect for money in their children and promoting other forms of rewards to instill personal satisfaction apart from buying, especially among adolescents and young adults.”
Relying On Other People’s Money To Get By
“I’ve seen clients carry around messages from their childhood for decades — like one client who realized she’d been living under the belief that she couldn’t ‘make it’ without her father’s money,” Pinniger said.
“It held her back in her business until she uncovered and released that old story. Once she did, her revenue soared.”
Speaking Negatively About Money
According to Pinniger, it’s best to refrain from speaking about money in negative terms.
For example, saying that possessing too much money is bad or that “there are always more bills to pay” puts negative messaging in a kid’s mind.
“The way we talk about money with our kids shapes their beliefs for years to come. If they see us approaching money with intention and clarity, it teaches them to see money as a tool to be used for security, well-being, and prosperity — not something to fear or stress over,” Pinniger said.
Advice for Parents
Experts noted that it’s not just about what kids see, it’s also about how they feel.
“When there’s warmth, trust and open communication at home, kids are more likely to develop healthy financial habits,” Pinniger said.
“Every moment you interact with money is an opportunity to model positive behaviors that will shape your child’s financial future. It’s about helping them see that money isn’t something to stress over or hide — it’s a tool to support their well-being and growth.”
She noted that parents don’t need to be perfect with money to be good role models.
“It’s about being intentional and open, letting your kids see that managing money is about choices, setting goals and understanding its essential role in our lives.
“Every interaction with money is a chance to teach and demonstrate a healthy financial mindset.”
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