5 Tips To Stop Letting Your Family Influence Your Financial Decisions
Written by
Cindy Lamothe
Edited by
Amber Barkley
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It’s a tale as old as time: family members feeling the need to express how and when you should spend your money. Whether you’re looking to buy a new home, a new car, start investing or simply take on a dream trip you’ve always wanted, your loved ones will have opinions — and those opinions can interfere with your financial decisions.
“When we’re young, we learn our financial habits from those closest to us: our family,” said Lori Pollack, executive director of the Financial Counseling Association of America. “We can learn both good and bad habits. We can watch family members counting pennies, yet find ways to always put food on the table and a roof over our heads.”
Conversely, she said we can have family members who spend money on all kinds of frivolous items, yet struggle to pay the bills to keep the heat going and the lights on. “Becoming financially literate is the first step to separating yourself from your family and their financial life.”
Below are some tips to help you stop letting them influence your financial decisions.
Develop a Budget
The first step, according to Pollack, is learning to develop a budget. She explained that being able to differentiate between your needs and wants is key to successfully staying on budget.
“Figure out how to set your own financial goals and not those dictated by your family,” she said. “Then find ways to live within your means and not above them. Then, start saving! Even $1 a day adds up.”
This is key to financial stability.
Learn How To Say ‘No’
“Another way to separate yourself from your family’s influence on financial decisions is to learn how to say ‘no’ to family members who repeatedly ask for financial assistance,” said Pollack. “Yes, at some point in time, we may all need financial help from a family member. But if you are going to help, be sure not to make this a routine occurrence.”
Instead, you can help that family member in a bigger way by helping them develop a budget.
“Look at income and expenses. Look at needs and wants. Help them create a plan to get back on their feet,” she explained.
Get Help From a Pro
And if all else fails, Pollack said calling a credit counselor to review your situation — or a family member’s situation — is a great path toward financial independence.
“Non-profit credit counselors, like FCAA members, are unbiased and have your financial well-being at heart,” she explained. “They will look at your situation holistically, reviewing credit card debt, mortgages, student loans, car loans and any other borrowing to help you develop a budget and, if needed, plan to prioritize and repay any debts.”
Set Clear Financial Boundaries
“One tip I always share is to treat your finances like a business and set transparent, written guidelines that everyone in the family agrees on,” said Angelo Crocco, CPA, CGMA, owner of AC Accounting.
When you put your money rules in black and white, he said you create a neutral playing field. This means establishing separate personal accounts in addition to any joint family accounts.
“Keeping personal finances distinct prevents the emotional baggage of family dynamics from interfering with individual financial goals,” he explained. “For example, if you and your partner have different spending habits, having separate accounts lets you maintain personal autonomy while contributing somewhat to shared expenses.”
Hold Regular Family Financial Meetings
Another strategy, according to Crocco, is scheduling regular, structured family financial meetings. Instead of letting financial issues fester, he advised setting aside a monthly time slot to review budgets, savings and spending habits as a group.
“Approach these meetings like a board meeting rather than a therapy session,” he said. “This approach helps keep discussions factual and goal-oriented, reducing the likelihood of heated personal conflicts.”
During these sessions, use simple visual tools like spreadsheets or budgeting apps that clearly show individual contributions and financial health. “This transparency builds trust and empowers each family member to take ownership of their financial decisions.”
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