Are You ‘Doom Spending’ Your Way Into Debt? 4 Tips To Avoid Emotional Overspending
Written by
Laura Bogart
Edited by
Kristen Mae
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You’ve had a bad day. Or maybe a bad week. Heck, maybe even a bad month. To take the edge off, you’re scrolling on your phone. More specifically, you’re scrolling shopping sites on your phone. Wouldn’t you know it — you’ve found the perfect fountain pen, or athletic shoe, or designer LEGO set to cheer you up. So, you get it. Or maybe, you get all of them.
You spend money when you’re sad. Or when you’re angry. Life is hard, and the world is a mess, so why not get yourself a little something extra? But all those “something extras” are adding up, and your credit card statements show it.
The urge to treat yourself when you’re feeling down is understandable, but “doom spending” isn’t entirely healthy — emotionally or financially. The news isn’t all bad, though. There are ways to get back to the sunnier side of personal finance and avoid emotional overspending.
Understand Your Money Origin Story
It’s no secret that you live in a society where the answer to everything that ails you is to buy more, more, more. But you might be particularly vulnerable to that mentality because of lessons you learned at a formative age.
If you saw your parents or caregivers respond to hard times by whipping out the credit card, you might have internalized the idea that you can spend away your pain. Or perhaps your parents weren’t emotionally expressive, preferring to show their love by buying you a new bike instead of telling you they were proud of you. No wonder that you learned to self-soothe through shopping.
When you understand your money origin story — or the experiences that shaped your attitudes about spending — you can start the work of correcting those beliefs. That might mean working with a financial advisor, a therapist, or even a financial therapist, a professional who combines both fields of expertise.
Recognize Your Triggers
If the idea of white-knuckling your way out of overspending feels too overwhelming, start by learning more about your triggers. What kinds of feelings drive you to reach for your credit card? Are you more likely to spend money when you’re sad? When you’re angry? Do certain experiences, like reading a sad news story or seeing someone who has the kind of life you want, make you more likely to spend?
Consider starting a spending journal. When you go to make your purchase, write down what you’re going to buy and how you’re feeling at the moment. Don’t press the “purchase” button just yet. Spend some time writing more about your emotions and whether you truly believe the purchase will resolve them. You just might find that you can talk yourself out of impulse spending.
Follow the 24-Hour Rule
The 24-hour rule is exactly what it sounds like. Your world isn’t going to end if that tracksuit doesn’t reach your house by midnight, so why not test yourself? Instead of purchasing the object of your temptation right away, sit on it for 24 hours.
You’ll likely find that the urgency around the purchase drops dramatically as soon as you walk out of the store or close that browser tab. If it’s still on your mind after 24 hours, then you might really have a need for it. Either way, the 24-hour rule helps reduce emotional spending by giving you space to make a more rational decision.
Find Other Ways To Reduce Stress
Spending money is just one way to get that dopamine hit that makes a bad day, or a bad week, or a bad month, feel better. There are plenty of other things you can do to boost your mood and relieve stress, like exercising, connecting with friends, volunteering, getting into hobbies and new activities, or even petting a puppy.
Finding no-cost ways to broaden your connection to your community and show self-care can help increase feelings of well-being and reduce stress — and ultimately break the cycle of emotional overspending.
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