I Was Raised by a Single Mom: 5 Frugal Lessons She Taught Me
Written by
Angela Mae
Edited by
Gary Dudak
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According to recent data, there are nearly 11 million single-parent families, 80% of which are headed by single mothers. While many single-mother households get by just fine, around 31% live in poverty. Even those who are doing better financially might still struggle at times or need to get creative to make ends meet.
Being a single mother is often a thankless job, but being raised by one can have a major positive impact well into adulthood. This is especially true when it comes to living frugally and achieving financial independence.
To get a better idea of how being raised by a single mom can leave a lasting impact on one’s financial habits, GOBankingRates spoke with Robert H. Johnson Jr., the founder and principal consultant at RHJ Consulting Group, LLC. These are the top five frugal lessons he said he learned from his mother growing up.
1. Live Within Your Means
Living within your means essentially means you have enough money to cover your expenses and don’t go beyond what you can reasonably afford. While many people might try to follow this motto, it’s often second nature to those who were raised in a household where this was part of their everyday life.
Johnson said his mother taught him to “live within the margins.” He explained, “Create a lifestyle and living expenses that do not meet or exceed your income. You never want to be forced to stay at a job or any situation due to money worries.”
Even if your financial situation improves over time, living within your means can mitigate or prevent unneeded financial stress or hardship down the line. It also gives you more freedom to make other decisions that are better suited to your goals and lifestyle.
2. Avoid FOMO
FOMO, or the fear of missing out, is a stress-based feeling that often leads to unwise or rushed financial decisions. Learning how to deal with FOMO and avoid situations that might lead to poor choices is another frugal lesson Johnson learned growing up.
“FOMO is how you go broke,” he said. “Think about what you choose to participate in with friends. You don’t have to participate in every lunch, dinner or even leisure trip. Ask yourself why you want the thing and then make a decision to buy it or not.”
3. Use Credit Wisely
Around 82% of American households reportedly have at least one credit card, and though credit cards aren’t inherently bad, they can be when used irresponsibly.
Johnson said he learned growing up to use different forms of credit wisely, rather than rely on them for everything.
“Leverage credit as a tool to build financial stability,” he said. “Don’t use credit to finance your lifestyle. Use credit to open the possibilities, not become enslaved to debt.”
4. Be Your Own Bank
Another frugal lesson Johnson learned from his single mother was to be his own bank and to lend himself money first.
“This means you owe yourself and have to pay yourself back,” he said. “Once you have a good amount of savings, aside from emergency funds, leverage your money for your goals.”
Being your own bank can help keep you on track with your finances and build wealth or, at the very least, financial stability. It can also help you avoid certain financial hardships that come with emergency or unplanned expenses.
5. Never Lend What You Can’t Afford To Lose
Sometimes, even decisions made with good intentions can come back to haunt you. For example, lending money you don’t have or can’t afford to lose often leads to individual stress or strained relationships.
For Johnson, one of those early frugal lessons he learned was to never lend what he can’t afford to give away.
“People have the best of intentions when they ask for a loan,” he said. “However, things happen and if they can’t pay you back how will you respond? Will it ruin the relationship?”
To avoid unnecessary issues with your friends, Johnson said he learned to give rather than lend. “If you get it back, great. If not, no worries.”
Practicing These Frugal Habits Today
Some lessons or habits fade with time. Others can last well into adulthood or even benefit others around you. For Johnson, it’s definitely more of the latter.
“I practice these healthy money habits religiously,” he said. “It’s created a great sense of financial security and peace. It’s also led to other family members and friends benefiting from these habits.”
How These Frugal Lessons Can Help You Save
One of the key benefits to living frugally is that it makes it easier to save money on nonessentials. It also helps limit debt and results in more financial stability.
When asked about how much money he spends and saves each month, Johnson said, “I live off 60% of my income and save about 20%. That’s about $500-$1,000 a month saved!”
Bottom Line
Growing up in a single-parent household can be challenging for the whole family at times, especially when money’s tight. But there’s a lot to be said for mothers — and parents in general — who do it on their own, particularly when it comes to the long-term impact it has on the children.
“I earn 5-10 times what my single mother did when she raised me,” said Johnson. “The lessons she taught me have helped me to achieve financial freedom.”
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