5 Ways To Talk About Money Troubles With Your Kids
Written by
Stephanie Mickelson
Edited by
Nicholas Morine
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Going through money trouble is hard, and it can be even harder if you have kids. Whether you’ve recently lost your job, find yourself with higher than expected expenses, or feel like you’re always struggling to make ends meet, your kids will likely sense that something is amiss.
Talking to your kids about your money troubles can be difficult, but there are ways to make it easier on all of you.
1. Tell Them What the Money Is For — Instead of What It’s Not
No one likes to hear the word no (and you probably don’t like saying it much either), so instead of telling your kids what the money isn’t for, tell them what it is for. You can tell your kids that the money you’re making is going to have to buy food this month, so it won’t be going to buy a new toy or game. This can teach your children valuable lessons about needs versus wants, even if it’s hard to hear.
2. Communicate What You’re Doing and Why
If you have to pick up a few extra shifts to make sure you can pay your rent or mortgage, it’s okay to tell your kids that. If you’re able to explain why you’re doing what you’re doing, your kids may be more likely to understand that what you’re doing is important and necessary.
3. Ask Them for Suggestions
To get them involved in the process, ask for their suggestions. You might be surprised at their ideas for saving money or suggestions for what to spend it on. You can tell them what things you won’t be able to buy and see if they have lower cost suggestions. For instance, if you aren’t going to be able to get takeout or go out to eat, ask them for meal ideas.
4. Answer Their Questions
Chances are, kids will have questions about the situation, especially if money troubles are a new experience for them. And even though it might be hard to explain that you’re having financial trouble, answering their questions honestly and age-appropriately can help ease their mind.
5. Help Them Feel Safe, Not Scared
If you’re scared and unsure of what to do, kids will likely pick up on that. Do your best to help them feel safe and know that you have a plan. You can share with them that you’re scared too, but you’re doing everything you can to make the situation better. This is a great time to ask them for their suggestions. It can take the spotlight off of you and let them feel like they can do something to help.
Above all, avoid unwarranted negativity.
“Try to avoid catastrophizing, meaning introducing ‘worst-case scenarios’ or how the situation could potentially be worse,” Jennifer Weber, director of behavioral health for PM Pediatrics Behavioral Health, told Parents.com.
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