3 Ways To Get on the Same Page About Money With Your Spouse, According to Rachel Cruze
Written by
Ellie Diamond
Edited by
Jenna Klaverweiden
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If you and your spouse argue about money, you’re not alone. According to Fidelity Investments, 45% of partners argue about money at least occasionally, and almost 25% say money is their most significant relationship challenge.
Rachel Cruze understands. She’s the daughter of money management celebrity Dave Ramsey and a certified financial coach. She’s also a wife and a self-described “free spirit … with a pretty strong tendency toward spending.”
In a recent Instagram post, Cruze discussed several ways to get on the same page about money with your spouse.
Budget For Individual Spending
Although she loves to spend, Cruze is always the first to advocate for budgeting.
As she stated on X, formerly Twitter, “A budget doesn’t limit your freedom — it gives you freedom! It’s you taking control, getting intentional, and telling your money what to do.”
That goes for couples’ finances too. Cruze and her husband add individual line items to their budget. Each person can freely spend up to a certain amount without checking in with the other.
For Cruze, that personal spending cushion makes shared finances less stressful. “When I go to Target or Sephora or wherever, I can spend money. I don’t have to text him about every little thing. It gives you freedom to spend,” she said.
Agree on a Maximum Independent Spending Amount
Cruze’s second piece of advice is setting an independent spending maximum: “Have a set amount of money you will not spend over unless you talk to your spouse about it. This is just a good boundary to have, and it’s helpful in conversations.”
Balancing Communication and Freedom
Open communication is important when you’re managing money as a couple. Among Fidelity’s respondents with good communication between partners, 57% rated their financial health as excellent or very good.
Guidelines like an independent spending limit keep the line of communication open without burdening anyone. Each partner can exercise their judgment up to a predetermined amount, knowing the other person trusts them to make intelligent decisions.
Establishing Trust
Setting a spending limit requires and encourages trust between partners. According to Fidelity, feeling left out of financial decision making is a major source of couples’ money stress. The survey showed that more than 25% of partners resent being out of the financial loop.
Dollar limits set parameters for independent decision making and help partners trust that they’ll be part of the process. If you and your partner agree that it’s okay to say “yes” to a purchase up to $500, you know they won’t start shopping for that new car without you.
Embrace Your Differences
One of the significant benefits of marriage is having someone to share the load with. Instead of making all of your decisions alone, you can talk through whatever you need to, big and small. Money should be on that list — especially if you frequently disagree.
Cruze said sharing opposing views on money can help you make better decisions. Each person brings money management strengths and weaknesses to the table. When you combine those strengths and weaknesses, you end up with a more balanced perspective.
Here’s one more fact from the Fidelity study: More than half of couples don’t agree on how much money to save for retirement, yet 60% have similar lifestyle goals. Discussing those goals and the best way to reach them can result in a more well-rounded plan.
Cruze urged her listeners: “Instead of seeing that person as the enemy or the person you have to overcome to get what you want, see them as actually an asset to your life, because that’s what they are as a spouse!”
There’s no magic bullet for marital money bliss, but communication is the first step toward making things easier. It helps you balance each other out and make more informed spending, earning, saving and investing decisions.
“Money and marriage can be a tension point, but it doesn’t have to be,” Cruze said.
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